My nephew Ricey left us the other day after a month of sickness and hospital stays. We held out hope that he’d stay here with us, but that was not to be. I’ve been on pins and needles since my great niece Jenny (his oldest daughter) first called me. Since that first call, I have prayed day and night. Jenny stayed by his side and fought the good fight for him. She kept her family informed every step of the way, and for that I am eternally grateful. I call her my little fighter. If you have Jenny on your side, she’ll fight to the death for you. Literally. My great niece Bernie (his youngest daughter) is a tower of strength who knows how to get things organized and going on the right track. She’s a preacher’s wife and her sweet, steady spirit is so calming. The legacy Ricey left us is two beautiful, strong women who are great wives and mothers. They are precious daughters to their mother Ann and treasures to all the rest of this family.
Reese is exactly 2 months and 19 days older than I am. His dad was my oldest brother and he was 23 when I came along. They lived with us at the time of Ricey’s and my birth, and everyone in town thought Ricey and I were twins. We were babies together that first year, and then his brother Scott came along and there were three babies in the house all under the age of two for a little while. My brother Andre, who was five at the time, must have wondered how in one fell swoop he was not only no longer the baby of the family, but had three little people to compete with!
(Warning! Favorite family story!) Once when we were about a year old, our little chihuahua “Minute”bit Ricey, so Ricey bit a chunk out of his tail in return. The dog never bit another living soul for the rest of his life.
When my brother moved his family back to California, I lost my two little playmates and I cried and cried. I felt like I had two brothers and a sister (after their sister Cheryl was born) instead of two nephews and a niece. They came back to live with us for a while, and Ricey and I started first grade together in Jonesville. Try explaining how a six-year-old can be your nephew when you are six years old, too!
They ultimately went back to California and we would visit as often as we could. Any time we were apart, it felt like no time had passed when we got back together again. We played together, laughed together and had the best times together. I can remember watching a magic show on tv and Ricey would exclaim after every trick that he knew exactly how that magician had done that!
I decided to go to California to go to college, and it was there that Ricey introduced me to his best friend Richard, who was to become my husband. Ricey was always in awe that his best friend became his uncle. Richard has known Ricey for 52 years and today made me so proud when he gave the eulogy at our nephew’s funeral. He shared his memories of his childhood friend and how much Ricey meant to both of us.
We would both get married, have children and grandchildren and see each other at holidays and family dinners, after the family moved back to SC and we moved back to the South. Those times were the best. We’ve shared grief at the loss of family members, joy at weddings or the births of children and happiness at graduations in our family.
Ricey and his wife Christy came to visit us before we moved from Mississippi. We loved spending that time with them, and it meant more to us than we can begin to share. He texted us often to talk about music that he loved, or to share a photo. We talked to him via video-chat the day before he left us and I know he could hear us, even in his weakened state. He reacted to the sound of mine and Richard’s voices. He left this world knowing how much we loved him.
Ricey could do literally anything he put his mind to. He made beautiful pieces of woodwork for his family. People have beautiful wooden benches, crosses, back scratchers, game boards, paint sets and cornhole sets that he fashioned from wood for us. We have family pictures and videos among the family, but those wooden pieces he made are things that truly show his love for his family and his giving heart. Those are family keepsakes that we will always treasure.
A little piece of my heart is gone from this earth. A Ricey-shaped hole that no one else can fill. I love you, my twin.
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| Bernie, Jenny and me before the funeral. |
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| My “twin.” |
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| My brother Maurice, Ricey, Cheryl, my nephew Keith, my mother and me. I think Ricey and I are about 13. |
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| Cooling off in California: Ricey, Cheryl, unknown neighbor, me (standing) and Scott. |
