Friday, May 20, 2011

Give me your number

Lauren loved when the digital clock would read 2:22, 3:33 and so on. She said it was good luck. She would always tell me that. I really did not pay full attention. I just thought it was a kid’s thing. She’d say, “Oh, Mom! It’s good luck! Try to make a wish when it happens.”
After she died, it seemed to happen all the time. I would look at the clock and it would be 5:55. I would look at my computer clock at work and it would be 1:11. It was weird. I never told anyone about that. It just happened. My nephew (and godson) Christopher was born July of the same year Lauren died. He was in his mother’s womb when we lost Lauren. His mother is my husband’s only sister, so we are very close.
We went to visit them when Chris was an infant, and stricken with grief, we found joy in the little guy. Liz and I were talking when I began to share about the clock and how I would see the three matching numbers all the time. Liz’s eyes filled with tears. She had been experiencing the same thing. She said everytime she would feed Chris, she would glance at the clock, and it seemed to always be on matching numbers. After a good cry, I chalked it up to the same reason that I had seen so many butterflies that summer. It was the Holy Spirit and He was comforting us. It still happens to me, but not as often. Usually now I look at the clock and it always seems to be 11:29. That is her birthday. When those things happen, I stare at the clock until the time changes, always thinking of Lauren and remembering something about her. Maybe my body clock is programmed to glance at the clock at those opportune times, but I really do attribute it to God and his infinite power to comfort us in our times of need.

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