Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Time flies even when you're not having fun.

It hit me the other day: it's 2012. It's not like I was sleeping and only woke up at the end of January. I just started thinking about a new year and what it would mean for our family and friends. There will be happy times, of course. This year marks our 30th wedding anniversary, and we are planning a trip to Rome! Two of or godsons will celebrate their first Eucharists, and we will baptize a new godson and a new goddaughter.  Our niece Kimberly will graduate from college. Our son and his wife will celebrate their first anniversary, and Lauren's friend Margaret will be married in March. So there are many reasons to rejoice in this coming year. 

One thing that really struck me when thinking of all of these things, was when I realized this would mark the 8th anniversary of our daughter's death. Eight years! It seems impossible to think of. Sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday, and then it feels like eternity. Where has the time gone? So many things have happened since she left: milestones in people's lives that she has missed. Marriages, births and deaths  that she was not here for. It makes me wonder what she sees and what she is aware of.  I take solace in the Communion of Saints. 

Shortly after we lost her, someone asked me if we knew exactly what happened to cause her car accident. I had to admit that I did not know then, and I still don't. Neither the police chief or the fire chief of our little town could figure it out and tell us. It dawned on me that when I did find out (in heaven) I would not care. That is so true. It won't matter then. Even if I did know, it would not change the outcome, because none of us can turn back the calendar or the clock. 

There have been moments of joy these past few years, as I am sure there will be in the coming years that I am here. For now, I will treasure the moments I have with my husband, son and daughter-in-law (and future grandchildren, hopefully), my family and my friends. I will continue to commune with my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I will look for the day when I meet my Lord. and be reunited with my loved ones. 

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