My "Advent"ure with Mary

My husband loves Christmas more than anyone else I have ever known. He will start listening to Christmas music as early as October, and watching Christmas movies as soon as he can. It's not that he wants Christmas gifts- he just simply loves Christmas.

I love Christmas too.  But, I think I love Advent even more. I love thinking about Mary, and how the angel visited her to tell her she was to have a son. I have always wondered if she felt confused and lonely, and unsure as to her future. The great thing about Mary to me is how she blindly trusted God and let him take control.  Every year I try to remember and reflect upon how her faith and obedience to God's plan for her became his ultimate plan for us all.

I know what others say about how we "worship" her, and nothing could be farther from the truth. We revere her - God revered her too. He chose her to be mother of his son. She was the one that was chosen out of every woman who ever lived to be the mother of his son. How can we not give her our love and respect?

My journey with Mary began long before I converted to Catholicism. Even as a child growing up in a Southern Baptist home, I always wondered why we only talked about her at Christmas. I almost got in trouble once when I was about 6 years old because of my little "devotion" to Mary.

We were in a Sunday School assembly right around Christmas in my little hometown church and the preacher came in to visit. He gave us an opportunity to ask questions, and it was the opportunity this shy little girl was waiting for. I innocently asked why we never mentioned Mary except at Christmas, and even though I have no recollection of how he answered me, I do remember feeling that I had brought up an uncomfortable issue.  Instead of making me forget her, it made me more interested in her.

Somehow, I got a statue of Mary when I was a kid. When I think of it now, I realize it is something of a mini-miracle. I was in a tiny town in South Carolina with no Catholic church and especially no Catholic  gift shop anywhere near me.  But I had that statue in my room for the longest time. I just looked at her and thought about how special she must have been to be the mother of the son of God.

Of course, now I realize God was preparing me for my conversion to Catholicism. I know he knew already that I would meet and marry an Italian Catholic boy and I would convert with my first child, my son, in my womb.

He knew I would need his Mary in my life when I faced my hardest trial. She lost her child and so did I.  Her loss became our gain. Because of her loss, I will see my child again.

"Savior of the nations, come; Virgin's Son, make here your home. 

Marvel now, both heav'n and earth, That the Lord chose such a birth.

Not by human flesh and blood, by the Spirit of our God

Was the Word of God made flesh, Mary's offspring, pure and fresh.

You, the Father's only Son, Have o'er sin the vict'ry won. 

Boundless shall your kingdom be; When shall we its glories see? 

Brightly does your manger shine; Glorious is its light divine.

Let not sin o'er cloud this light; Ever be our faith thus bright. "

Are we meaner than we used to be?

I'll be so glad when this election is over, and I almost feel the same way about football season at this point. It seems that politics and football bring out the worst in people. I cannot believe some of the ugly and personal remarks I have witnessed both on television and on social media this political season. It seems some people think social media gives them license to just be mean-spirited about the person they oppose. Never mind the issues, just trash the person.

It is not right, in my book. Gone are the days when people really sought to educate themselves on the issues, and discuss them rationally. We should really know what we are voting for when we go into that booth. It is vital that we look past the party and the personality, and try to discern the man or woman we think will represent us best in our state and in our nation.

Same goes with football. People are so mean about other people's teams. I am a great believer in rivalries. I think it is healthy and American to have sports rivalries. Haven't we seen enough already with two dead trees, and a so-called "fan" who is now a registered sex-offender for behaving like a jerk after the national championship? You even see little league parents getting into fist fights at their children's games.  I'm sure there are countless other examples, but these were fresh in my mind.

I read the news daily about children being abused, tortured and killed by strangers and even their own parents, in some cases. There are "gone missing" cases every day and our children are being bullied to the point of suicide.

We as Christians are called to show Christ to others in our lives. As Catholics, we are taught to "be Christ" to others. I try not to say too much on Facebook and Twitter about politics, although I do post about my favorite football teams!

Maybe someone might call me a chicken, for not stating my opinion on politics. I will say this, I am a Catholic and a Christian, and as such, I am pro-life. So my voting is very influenced by that issue. I believe in taking care of the poor and marginal, which is what my faith teaches. I try to be as Christ to all, and fall short every day of my life. But I try.

I pray that we as a society, will return to some sense of decorum and integrity. I hope we can learn to love each other, but if not, I hope we can at least respect each other's right to our own opinions, and learn to tolerate our differences.

Peace of Christ.

Aaron's birthday poster for 2012

This week, my precious son Aaron turns 29. He is such a joy to his father and me. We are both SOOO proud of the man he has become. Like his father, he works hard and like his father is to me,  he is a wonderful husband to our sweet daughter-in-law, Anna. Aaron had a great example in his father of what a Christian husband should be, and he is following that example daily.

I remember clearly the day he was born. He came on his due date, which I am told is rare for a first baby. I have forgotten the labor, and any pain I may have experienced. I only remember the first time I laid eyes on the precious baby God had given me. We spent our maternity leave together in our little apartment in Downey, CA where we lived when Aaron was born. I sang to him and read to him every day, and I will never forget those first days we had together.

We had a little old black and white TV we had gotten from my older brother. The dial was broken so you had to change it with a pair of pliers. Aaron laughs every time we tell that little family story. His dad brought home a rented color television so we could watch all the Christmas specials and movies that year.

Aaron was joined by his sister when he was 2 years and one month old, and he loved her fiercely until the day she died.  He was her champion and her very best friend, and he loves as much today as the day she was born. Being Aaron, he has been a source of comfort and support for his mom and dad in the days since we lost our beloved Lauren. Our little family unit was always strong and tight, and has remained that way, even through our grief.

My two favorite boys. 

Aaron was a typical boy, rambunctious and full of vim and vigor, but always, always a great joy to us. He really never gave us any trouble at all. He has made us prouder than I can get across to him. I can't tell him enough. Graduating from Ole Miss and embarking on his career and into marriage, he has shown himself to be everything we ever hoped he would be. He is a very talented musician (which he gets from both sides of his family) and he loves music and sports.

When Aaron was a little boy, I always surprised him with a little hand-made "Happy Birthday" poster on the refrigerator. It would say, for example, "Happy 9th (or whatever year it was) Birthday, Aaron!" and I would decorate it to the best of my limited ability. (I am certainly NOT an artist!) He would always look forward to that. I haven't been able to do that in the past few years since he has lived away from home, so this is his "Birthday Poster" for this year.

So, "Happy 29th Birthday, Aaron!" We love you more than words can convey...

One of my favorite pictures of Aaron and me. Cotton Bowl 2009

October surprise

October started off with a big surprise for us! Lauren's sweet childhood friend Brittany and her husband Job had a baby girl and honored us by naming her Lauren Grace.  We were so humbled and honored by her choice. We are so excited to meet her soon! 

Job and Brittany are very special to us for many reasons. When we moved to Senatobia, our son Aaron was in 8th grade, and Lauren was in 5th grade. They were not happy about moving again, and let us know about it. We had moved to Memphis 3 years earlier, and they had adjusted to that move, and now here we were moving again! We wanted land and to build our family's "dream house" and Senatobia was the place we had chosen to do it. 

Aaron and Lauren made friends the first day they went to school in Senatobia. Aaron met his lifelong friend Gene, and Lauren met her lifelong friend Brittany! After a week, they were completely at home. Lauren and Brittany seemed to be inseparable after just a short amount of time. Brittany spent a lot of time in our house, and Lauren in her house. 

Aaron and Job became friends later in high school (they went to different schools) and ended up as college roommates at Northwest. Lauren and Brittany were still in high school, but Lauren had it in her mind that Job and Brittany should meet. She felt like their Christian values, their outlook on life, and just their personalities in general would make them a smart match. Aaron was not so thrilled at first. He didn't think his friends should date Lauren's friends. But Lauren (in her quiet little way) persisted until Aaron finally agreed. Job and Brittany hit it off, and THEY were inseparable! 

Brittany got her degree in nursing and Job began to pursue a divinity degree to become a preacher. 

Their journey as a married couple began after Lauren died. They honored Lauren at their wedding with flowers, and a sweet mention in their program. They had a son Reid, and when they discovered they were pregnant again, they decided not to find out what the baby was beforehand. 

Brittany called me the morning of Oct. 3 to tell me the baby was here and what her name was! I was overwhelmed. 

Last week was a great week. I spent Monday with our scholarship recipients and then found out about Lauren Grace. We feel very blessed to have these wonderful folks in our lives. 

My scholarship kids, and what they mean to me

 Aaron and Lauren in Las Vegas in 2003

Lauren's graduation photo

This Monday will be one of those bittersweet days for me. We will have our annual scholarship reception and banquet at the college where I work, and my daughter's scholarship recipients will be there with me at the reception. They are both very sweet kids. I have had the opportunity to get to know them a bit already. 

Hannah, a sophomore, is a soft-spoken young lady who had a terrible accident when she was in high school. Her sister graduated with my son, and her brother with Lauren. She made a full recovery, thank God. She is a section leader in the band, works part time, and maintains a good grade point average. She is very sweet and loving towards me. 

Ryan is a freshman. He is very active in his youth group and in the BSU at school. He is very polite and always friendly. He seems to be a very happy young man. 

I think back to when our scholarship was endowed and our first recipient was chosen. It was such a hard time for us, but looking back, I had no way to know how much happiness these young people would bring me back then. 

We have had great kids to receive our scholarship, and it makes me happy to know that we helped them in some small way. I have bonded with all of the kids who received the scholarship over the years. 

So I salute Amy (in law school now); Paxton (working on his Master's in Music), McGhea (working in his field of computer science), Jordan (still studying nursing) and of course Hannah and Ryan, still in school and still participating in our band. 

Monday, I will remember my sweet Lauren and be thankful that her memory remains alive in such a special way. 

Two guys I adore... and not the ones you think.

I was trying to watch Fr. Robert Barron's "Catholicism" on EWTN the other night, and desperately trying not to fall asleep. I am really interested in this series, and will probably end up buying it one day. So I wasn't falling asleep out of boredom, I was falling asleep out of sheer exhaustion. It was only a couple of days after we returned from Italy, and I was still trying to adjust.

I roused myself when Fr. Barron began to talk about John 6, the so-called "Bread of Life" discourse. We have been hearing a lot about this lately in Mass. I love John 6.  Fr. Barron talked about how many of Christ's disciples left him because they could not live with what he was saying about eating his body and drinking his blood. But Peter stood up and said, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.” Fr. Barron said the other disciples followed Peter and we have been following him ever since.

To me, that is when Peter's formation as the first pope began. Jesus had said that he would build his church on the rock (Peter) and if you think about it, our basilica, named St. Peter's, is built on that rock, since it is Peter's bones under the altar. It is Peter's church, and today his descendant Benedict sits in his chair in that church.

I like Peter. I thought a lot about him when I was in Rome. I like that he had a temper, and that he screwed up a time or two, but he went on to become the leader of the Church. I have a special place in my heart for him.

I thought a lot about St. Paul when I was there, too. To walk on the streets where he and St. Peter walked was truly overwhelming. To be where they had once been is just surreal to me still. When I think of Paul and how he overcame his former life to become one of the greatest apostles, I just know there is hope for me. I really love reading his writings and Peter's as well.

I can't decide which one I love the most, and I am glad I don't have to. Fr. Barron talked about how there are Petrine and Pauline Catholics, but I think I want to remain neutral and accept both of these great men for what they are - amazing.

 St. Peter (at St. John Lateran Church) You can usually recognize him, because he has the keys. 

St. Paul at St. John Lateran Church

Growing in Grace (I dropped my lunch today)

I recounted this incident on Facebook right after it happened, but I will repeat it just the same.

This was my post:

"So, I was walking across the street from the parking lot to my office when the bottom of the Bath and Body Works paper bag I was recycling for my lunch bag gave way and my lunch went everywhere. I picked all of my lunch up, piece by piece off the ground and stuck it all in my gym bag until I could get inside. Someone said, "What a way to start the day!" I was actually really calm about it, because the thought struck me that I at least had a lunch to pick up. So, thank you Lord for the food you have given me today. And I pray for those who don't have anything to eat." As of this writing, 52 of my friends "liked" my post. 

I really kind of surprised myself, quite frankly. Usually,  I get really mad over little things like that, and have been known to utter a curse word I shouldn't utter on occasion. In other words, I don't have much patience with little things like traffic, dropping things, stubbing my toe or hitting my head. I am still mystified at why I reacted the way I did, but I am grateful I did. 

In retrospect, I hope that I am growing in grace. I have prayed that I would, and maybe the Lord is answering that prayer. 

Last Friday, I had the opportunity to ask forgiveness of a stranger (well, she is in my Zumba class, so she is not a complete stranger.) A while back, she and I had a little run-in at Zumba. Without going into details, I will admit I lost my patience (and my temper) and said something sort of mean to her. I didn't like her (or so I thought). I apologized, and she immediately apologized for what she had done, and then in the midst of our conversation I mentioned Lauren. As it turns out, she runs a hospice. She is also a grief counselor. Long story short, I told her I would be willing to talk to a grieving parent if I am needed. What a gift! I asked God to grant me opportunities to help others who are grieving. Those of us in the same "club" understand each other, and there were others who helped me. 

I hate to talk in cliches, but as I have heard it said in the past, "God isn't finished with me yet." I certainly hope not. I hope He will give me lots of opportunities to grow in grace.