Aaron's birthday poster for 2012

This week, my precious son Aaron turns 29. He is such a joy to his father and me. We are both SOOO proud of the man he has become. Like his father, he works hard and like his father is to me,  he is a wonderful husband to our sweet daughter-in-law, Anna. Aaron had a great example in his father of what a Christian husband should be, and he is following that example daily.

I remember clearly the day he was born. He came on his due date, which I am told is rare for a first baby. I have forgotten the labor, and any pain I may have experienced. I only remember the first time I laid eyes on the precious baby God had given me. We spent our maternity leave together in our little apartment in Downey, CA where we lived when Aaron was born. I sang to him and read to him every day, and I will never forget those first days we had together.

We had a little old black and white TV we had gotten from my older brother. The dial was broken so you had to change it with a pair of pliers. Aaron laughs every time we tell that little family story. His dad brought home a rented color television so we could watch all the Christmas specials and movies that year.

Aaron was joined by his sister when he was 2 years and one month old, and he loved her fiercely until the day she died.  He was her champion and her very best friend, and he loves as much today as the day she was born. Being Aaron, he has been a source of comfort and support for his mom and dad in the days since we lost our beloved Lauren. Our little family unit was always strong and tight, and has remained that way, even through our grief.

My two favorite boys. 

Aaron was a typical boy, rambunctious and full of vim and vigor, but always, always a great joy to us. He really never gave us any trouble at all. He has made us prouder than I can get across to him. I can't tell him enough. Graduating from Ole Miss and embarking on his career and into marriage, he has shown himself to be everything we ever hoped he would be. He is a very talented musician (which he gets from both sides of his family) and he loves music and sports.

When Aaron was a little boy, I always surprised him with a little hand-made "Happy Birthday" poster on the refrigerator. It would say, for example, "Happy 9th (or whatever year it was) Birthday, Aaron!" and I would decorate it to the best of my limited ability. (I am certainly NOT an artist!) He would always look forward to that. I haven't been able to do that in the past few years since he has lived away from home, so this is his "Birthday Poster" for this year.

So, "Happy 29th Birthday, Aaron!" We love you more than words can convey...

One of my favorite pictures of Aaron and me. Cotton Bowl 2009

October surprise

October started off with a big surprise for us! Lauren's sweet childhood friend Brittany and her husband Job had a baby girl and honored us by naming her Lauren Grace.  We were so humbled and honored by her choice. We are so excited to meet her soon! 

Job and Brittany are very special to us for many reasons. When we moved to Senatobia, our son Aaron was in 8th grade, and Lauren was in 5th grade. They were not happy about moving again, and let us know about it. We had moved to Memphis 3 years earlier, and they had adjusted to that move, and now here we were moving again! We wanted land and to build our family's "dream house" and Senatobia was the place we had chosen to do it. 

Aaron and Lauren made friends the first day they went to school in Senatobia. Aaron met his lifelong friend Gene, and Lauren met her lifelong friend Brittany! After a week, they were completely at home. Lauren and Brittany seemed to be inseparable after just a short amount of time. Brittany spent a lot of time in our house, and Lauren in her house. 

Aaron and Job became friends later in high school (they went to different schools) and ended up as college roommates at Northwest. Lauren and Brittany were still in high school, but Lauren had it in her mind that Job and Brittany should meet. She felt like their Christian values, their outlook on life, and just their personalities in general would make them a smart match. Aaron was not so thrilled at first. He didn't think his friends should date Lauren's friends. But Lauren (in her quiet little way) persisted until Aaron finally agreed. Job and Brittany hit it off, and THEY were inseparable! 

Brittany got her degree in nursing and Job began to pursue a divinity degree to become a preacher. 

Their journey as a married couple began after Lauren died. They honored Lauren at their wedding with flowers, and a sweet mention in their program. They had a son Reid, and when they discovered they were pregnant again, they decided not to find out what the baby was beforehand. 

Brittany called me the morning of Oct. 3 to tell me the baby was here and what her name was! I was overwhelmed. 

Last week was a great week. I spent Monday with our scholarship recipients and then found out about Lauren Grace. We feel very blessed to have these wonderful folks in our lives. 

My scholarship kids, and what they mean to me

 Aaron and Lauren in Las Vegas in 2003

Lauren's graduation photo

This Monday will be one of those bittersweet days for me. We will have our annual scholarship reception and banquet at the college where I work, and my daughter's scholarship recipients will be there with me at the reception. They are both very sweet kids. I have had the opportunity to get to know them a bit already. 

Hannah, a sophomore, is a soft-spoken young lady who had a terrible accident when she was in high school. Her sister graduated with my son, and her brother with Lauren. She made a full recovery, thank God. She is a section leader in the band, works part time, and maintains a good grade point average. She is very sweet and loving towards me. 

Ryan is a freshman. He is very active in his youth group and in the BSU at school. He is very polite and always friendly. He seems to be a very happy young man. 

I think back to when our scholarship was endowed and our first recipient was chosen. It was such a hard time for us, but looking back, I had no way to know how much happiness these young people would bring me back then. 

We have had great kids to receive our scholarship, and it makes me happy to know that we helped them in some small way. I have bonded with all of the kids who received the scholarship over the years. 

So I salute Amy (in law school now); Paxton (working on his Master's in Music), McGhea (working in his field of computer science), Jordan (still studying nursing) and of course Hannah and Ryan, still in school and still participating in our band. 

Monday, I will remember my sweet Lauren and be thankful that her memory remains alive in such a special way. 

Two guys I adore... and not the ones you think.

I was trying to watch Fr. Robert Barron's "Catholicism" on EWTN the other night, and desperately trying not to fall asleep. I am really interested in this series, and will probably end up buying it one day. So I wasn't falling asleep out of boredom, I was falling asleep out of sheer exhaustion. It was only a couple of days after we returned from Italy, and I was still trying to adjust.

I roused myself when Fr. Barron began to talk about John 6, the so-called "Bread of Life" discourse. We have been hearing a lot about this lately in Mass. I love John 6.  Fr. Barron talked about how many of Christ's disciples left him because they could not live with what he was saying about eating his body and drinking his blood. But Peter stood up and said, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.” Fr. Barron said the other disciples followed Peter and we have been following him ever since.

To me, that is when Peter's formation as the first pope began. Jesus had said that he would build his church on the rock (Peter) and if you think about it, our basilica, named St. Peter's, is built on that rock, since it is Peter's bones under the altar. It is Peter's church, and today his descendant Benedict sits in his chair in that church.

I like Peter. I thought a lot about him when I was in Rome. I like that he had a temper, and that he screwed up a time or two, but he went on to become the leader of the Church. I have a special place in my heart for him.

I thought a lot about St. Paul when I was there, too. To walk on the streets where he and St. Peter walked was truly overwhelming. To be where they had once been is just surreal to me still. When I think of Paul and how he overcame his former life to become one of the greatest apostles, I just know there is hope for me. I really love reading his writings and Peter's as well.

I can't decide which one I love the most, and I am glad I don't have to. Fr. Barron talked about how there are Petrine and Pauline Catholics, but I think I want to remain neutral and accept both of these great men for what they are - amazing.

 St. Peter (at St. John Lateran Church) You can usually recognize him, because he has the keys. 

St. Paul at St. John Lateran Church

Growing in Grace (I dropped my lunch today)

I recounted this incident on Facebook right after it happened, but I will repeat it just the same.

This was my post:

"So, I was walking across the street from the parking lot to my office when the bottom of the Bath and Body Works paper bag I was recycling for my lunch bag gave way and my lunch went everywhere. I picked all of my lunch up, piece by piece off the ground and stuck it all in my gym bag until I could get inside. Someone said, "What a way to start the day!" I was actually really calm about it, because the thought struck me that I at least had a lunch to pick up. So, thank you Lord for the food you have given me today. And I pray for those who don't have anything to eat." As of this writing, 52 of my friends "liked" my post. 

I really kind of surprised myself, quite frankly. Usually,  I get really mad over little things like that, and have been known to utter a curse word I shouldn't utter on occasion. In other words, I don't have much patience with little things like traffic, dropping things, stubbing my toe or hitting my head. I am still mystified at why I reacted the way I did, but I am grateful I did. 

In retrospect, I hope that I am growing in grace. I have prayed that I would, and maybe the Lord is answering that prayer. 

Last Friday, I had the opportunity to ask forgiveness of a stranger (well, she is in my Zumba class, so she is not a complete stranger.) A while back, she and I had a little run-in at Zumba. Without going into details, I will admit I lost my patience (and my temper) and said something sort of mean to her. I didn't like her (or so I thought). I apologized, and she immediately apologized for what she had done, and then in the midst of our conversation I mentioned Lauren. As it turns out, she runs a hospice. She is also a grief counselor. Long story short, I told her I would be willing to talk to a grieving parent if I am needed. What a gift! I asked God to grant me opportunities to help others who are grieving. Those of us in the same "club" understand each other, and there were others who helped me. 

I hate to talk in cliches, but as I have heard it said in the past, "God isn't finished with me yet." I certainly hope not. I hope He will give me lots of opportunities to grow in grace. 

Final Reflections on Italy

Our trip last week to Italy was truly the trip of a lifetime for us. We have been married for 30 years, and this is only the second trip we have ever taken that did not involve a family visit or a business trip. The first trip was our honeymoon!

There are so many facets to the trip for me that I can hardly begin to name them. Spending time with Richard in a relaxed and fun atmosphere where we explored and discovered a new place was exhilirating and refreshing for us both. That was the primary benefit of the trip, but the other benefits were also great.

My Catholic faith was also refreshed and renewed. To be in Rome, where our faith actually began (after the Lord ascended) was so awesome. I truly understand the history of pilgrimages and why people take them. To stand before the tomb of Blessed John Paul II and pray or gaze upon the works of Michelangeo and Rafael was such a surreal experience. In sharing the experiences with friends and family, I have finally begun to realize the intensity of my experiences.

One of the things that stayed with me throughout the entire trip was what Lauren would have thought about it. She loved all things Italian, and was particularly proud of her Italian heritage on her dad's side. She was all set to study Italian when she got to Ole Miss, but that was not to be.

As is everything else for a grieving parent, life-changing experiences that you have after you lose your child are bittersweet. I like to think that Lauren knows what we are doing and that she knew I really dedicated this trip to her. I hope she knows I was always thinking of how she would react or what she might think of what we saw.

Hopefully, one day I will return to my beloved Italy. It is, to me, the most beautiful place on earth.

Sat., Sept. 8/Sun. Sept. 9 : The Long Journey home

Our driver was not picking us up until 10 am so we decided to take one last walk around Firenze after breakfast. 

We had walked before dinner last night through the park along the Arno just to see what things looked like in the opposite direction from what we were used to. It was a nice neighborhood, and along the Arno were little outdoor bars where one could sit and enjoy music, a sandwich or other light fare and wine. 

We ate at the little bar next to our hotel, walked back down the Arno and then came in for the night. 

Our walk this morning included some window shopping in a guitar shop for RT, and a look at the outside of an old church called Sante Famiglia (Holy Family). We ducked into a shop that featured unfinished furniture and plenty of paint, and other materials for crafts. So we got a taste of what the area where we were staying was like. 

We arrived at the airport in plenty of time to go through security, grab a sandwich and get on the small CityJet to Paris. They made us check our bag, which RT hates. One interesting thing is that we got to the gate and the took us on a shuttle for about 30 seconds to the plane. That was weird. 

The airport in Paris turned out to be exactly as my friend Fr. David described it: something of a nightmare. We arrived into some sort of a tunnel with no signs or monitors pointing anywhere, and the security guy was no help at all. We finally figured out that we had to go down a couple of ramps to the terminal. We were in terminal 2G and after running to the info desk we found out we needed to be at 2E. They should be pretty close to each other, right? Uhm, think again. You had to go OUTSIDE to the shuttle and go all around the airport past every other terminal and the train pick up to get there. They were opposite of each other. 

We got to the terminal finally and checked the monitors. Our gate was K49 which meant nothing to us, so we ran to another info desk and got pointed in the right direction. We ran around the corner to the passport area and stood in line to get out of France, and then stood in line to go through security to get out of France. We ran to our gate and the  guys at the gate asked us security questions too. After a minute we finally got to the plane. I would have to agree with Fr. David whole-heartedly. Worst. Airport. Ever. It is completely unorganized. 

After a long, long, long plane ride, complete with three movies, lunch and snack and plenty of turbulence, we finally made it to Atlanta. We texted our son immediately, who texted back that Ole Miss was beating UTEP. That made RT really happy! 

Our Global Entry made coming back into the country so much easier. We got to come through the diplomat’s entrance. We got our bags, but they made us put them back on the conveyor for the plane to Memphis. 

We went to the Sky Club to rest for a few minutes and then got to the gate for Memphis. The plane took off a little later than expected, and finally we got back to Memphis, got our bags, got the shuttle, got our car and headed back to Mississippi. 

It was a long day, but we were happy to be home. We settled in and after being up for probably 24 hours, finally went to sleep. We got up too late for mass unfortunately,  but met our kids for Sunday brunch in Oxford. Resting today and back to work tomorrow. 

 The little airport in Firenze was so cute. 

 Last meal in Italy! Even their airport food is good.

 Worst. Airport.Ever. 

Coast of France- Heading out for the long trip over the ocean.